DVD For Cats: This is Why I’m Never Getting Laid Again

I’ve been feeling more guilty about leaving Nutsak the One-Eyed Wonder Kitty alone while I go to work and school. Seriously, that one eye = Jewish mother-esque guilt trips.

My apt is is only 520 sq ft, so I’m not sure getting a 2nd kitty for company would be a great idea. Plus, I’m sure there’s nothing a dude loves to hear more than “I’m 30, single, live in a basement studio and have 2 cats. Wanna bang?”

So I leave the  TV on  Animal Planet (I doubt he would like Sci-Fi SyFy) when I’m gone,  but this morning I remembered there are cat DVDs.


DVD For Cats: While You Are Gone or DVD For Cats: This is Why I'm Never Getting Laid Again


There is also a companion cd with such stirring musical numbers as “Twisted Whisker” and I Am Cat, Hear Me Roar”:


Music Cats Love: While You Are Gone OR Music Cats Love: Play this Loudly to Drown Out Your Sobs


Then there’s the Cat Sitter DVD series. It’s very hard to argue with the stellar reviews. “Cats across the country have ecstatically reviewed this lively production. Murray in Phoenix writes: ‘When my human gets home, I lead her straight to the TV. If only I had thumbs to operate the remote.’ Mavis in Savannah raves: ‘I’m positive it’ll win this year’s prestigious Hairball Award!'”

My question is, if I order the dvd should I go ahead and order the ugly bedroom slippers and extra batteries for the vibrator? Because after this post, it’s just going to be me and Waldo, the Adult Pleasure Device for a long, looooooooong time.


~ by pithycomments on October 29, 2009.

9 Responses to “DVD For Cats: This is Why I’m Never Getting Laid Again”

  1. LOL! Wow, don’t be the cat lady!

  2. Firstly, guys hear “blah blah blah Wanna bang?” Men love cats, knitting, doing laundry or anything else as long as having sex is involved soonish.

    Second off this is awesome that they make such videos. I’m going to get some I think.

    Third, the While You Are Gone cover looks a little like my Izzy.

  3. Those pictures effing kill me.

  4. @ JP: Well, I *am* a Puma

    @Smuggers: oooo, lemme know what Izzy thinks of the video.

    @Flippy: kitteh glamour shots?

  5. i.. uh.. have two cats. and i’m 29. SHIIIIT.

    however, my ex-roommie is a photographer, and she ACTUALLY TOOK GLAMOUR SHOTS OF MY CATS for my bday last year, and gifted them to me. in frames. she’s awesome.

  6. Hilarious! I’ve been thinking of getting a cat…now not so sure.

  7. @convincemedc: get the kitteh!

  8. Pretty mad stuff, you can so see that they are advertising this to the cat owner rather than the cat. Those tickle my chin eyes work every time on anyone that likes cats…I’m intrigued though, what is cat music…or music that cats like….The Cure – Lovecats ?

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