Really Heroes??? REALLY?!?!

Warning: if you haven’t watched the craptacular season finale of Heroes, here be spoilers. And a v. fangirly rant.

Heroes, I thought we had something special. Really, I did. You were my first TV on DVD purchase that was not Gilmore Girls related, and in a way, you started my small purchasing obsession addiction phase. I pimped you to my friends, I passed that first season around like a 2 dollar whore. And then I saw season 2.

Granted there were issues. The Pasbeard comes to mind. The really bad Irish accents. Creepy Stalker Fly Boy. FuckingMaya! But you also gave us Kristen Bell, Shirtless!Peter, SweatySylar, SylarInATowel and Adam Monroe (mmmm, Sark — forward to :53) and while FuckingMaya was a lot to over come, there was always the hope that Sylar would lop her head off.  He didn’t.

Season 2 came to an early, somewhat merciful end thanks to writer’s strike. You left us hanging w/ Nathan getting shot (bastards) and with FuckingMaya still fucking existing.

Finally, season 3. We were promised that it would make up for the errors of S2.  I didn’t mind the soap opera-esque twists with Sylar and my yummy Petrellis. I’ve watched enough telenovelas to become slightly immune .  I did mind Hiro being a dumbass and losing the Formula, Claire and her “I’m Special” issues, and FuckingMaya STILL existing.

And then you bastards killed Adam. You killed my pretteh, pretteh Sark.  And not just killed him, but turned him into dust, leaving nothing but a finely tailored suit behind. But that wasn’t enough, was it?? Noooooo, you had to go and keep FuckingMaya alive (though I did loudly cheer and clap when she was stuck in a cocoon, unable to speak. Pity she was freed and y’know, STILL FUCKING ALIVE) and have Sylar lop the head off of Veronica Mars KBell, thereby losing Flippy as a viewer and ensuring that KaterTot would sic Bionic Kitty on you. And trust me, there’s no superpower that can defeat Bionic Kitty.

But still, like a true fangirl I stuck around. I still had my Petrelli Hotness. And while Sylar’s storylines were headache inducing w/ their backtracking, “surprises” twists and repetition, daddy issues, mommy issues, the batshittier he got, the more Sylar and his eyebrows made me think naughty thoughts.  In the Crazy/Hot Scale, he was def above the Vicki Mendoza Diagonal, even w/ the whole Norman-Bates-Talking-to-DeadMommy-while-Shapeshifting-into-DeadMommy ep. Ok, with that ep he slipped down the scale a little.

And then last night’s season finale. What did you bastards do?

You KILLED Nathan. You. Killed. Nathan.

RIP Hotness

RIP Hotness

Once again, it wasn’t enough to just KILL Nathan, you had  him s.l.o.w.l.y. bleed to death from Sylar’s SlashyFinger To the Throat, while we all got to watch the not-so-pretteh death in HD.  And just because you hadn’t fucked with our hearts enough you came up with the  Surprising!Twist! of having Matt Parkman mind swipe Sylar into thinking HE was Nathan and forgetting that he was ever Sylar so he could shift back into “Nathan” and RealNathan’s death could be covered up to protect the other superpower peeps and b/c Angela Petrelli can’t bear to live w/o inappropriately touching her son. Or something.

Really Heroes?? Did you bastards forget that Claire has that SuperSpecialBlood that can bring the dead back to life??! Y’know like she did when HRG was shot in the EYE and was killed ded!!

You couldn’t have killed Peter?? Or Mohinder?!?  Or Parkman?? You just HAD to kill Nathan. And while, yes, I’ll get the hotness that is the Pasdar next season (assuming I even watch), since he’ll be back as FauxNathan, Nathan is still dead. And even that will get fucked up and Sylar will remember who he is and quit pretending to be Nathan and then where will we be?

Without Nathan, that’s where.  Because you bastards KILLED him.

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~ by pithycomments on April 28, 2009.

One Response to “Really Heroes??? REALLY?!?!”

  1. So does this mean you’re done watching?

    I’ll probably just end up Netflixing the remaining seasons. Or pretend that the show ended after season 1.

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