Grind it til you find it

Back in July, I had a lil eye procedure that left me looking like a mummy pirate for a week. To recap, the procedure was putting a tube in my closed tear ducts to stop the constant tears from one eye. It was a temporary deal, with the idea that the tube would be removed in 6 months. The “cure” for my gypsy tears was almost as bad as the “illness” as I developed allergic reactions to my prescribed eye drops and had a permanently bloodshot eye for over a month. Fun fucking times.

Finally in January, I had the right combo of drops and ointments so talk of my tube getting removed began. In January, the doc said February *might* be the big day. In February he assured me that March 19 would be the big day. The removal of the tube would be a simple task, requiring no hospital visit.  The tube was anchored in back of my nasal cavity w/ a cotton swab, with the whole contraption resembling the shape of a bolo tie with everything being removed via my nose. (hee and eeew)

So yesterday morning, per the doc’s instructions I started snorting (and choking on) warm water to help coax the anchor swab forward. It doesn’t take much since anytime I blow my nose or sneeze hard, the little fucker comes forward and I have to spend 5 – 10 minutes putting everything back in place.  So. Much. Fun.

Once Swabbie made his appearance, I decided to take out my nose ring since it might be in the way of Swabbie’s exodus. In anticipation of this day, I had bought a new nose ring since I was tired of the yellow gold look.  Now de-jeweled, I went off to the doc.  After a lil looky-loo into my eyes, he stated I was “too wet” to get my tube removed and to try again in 2 months and here’s another eye drop you should use that hopefully won’t cause an allergic reaction.  Wheeeee.

After resisting the urge to punch the grandfatherly doctor in the throat, I got my meds and went home to put my nose ring back in.  The time was 11.30. Make a note of the time as it will be important later.

I disinfected the new ring, put on some BSG and began my ring insertion. Since it’s a screw and not a post, it takes a little finagling to find the hole. (that sounded dirtier than I intended).  I lifted, I coaxed, I tried different positions…nothing.  I began to fear that my hole had closed (there really isn’t any way to write this that doesn’t sound dirty). I grabbed an earring, disinfected it and placed it in my hole. Easy peasy, it went in. Only problem is that the size of  the earring is way smaller than my ring.   I left that in, did some googling and found some instructions about getting my screw on. Following the instructions, I put an ice pack on my face and waited 30 mins.

Again I tried. Again I failed, only this time I heard/felt something pop something and started to bleed…on the outside of my nose.  Yay, no nose ring and now the added fear that the blood would dry and block the hole.  I grabbed another nose ring, unbent it and shoved the now-long post in and sat back down to watch BSG.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Around 3.30 I started thinking v. seriously about skipping that night’s class and heading instead to Jinx Proof to pay the 40$ and having them put my ring in for me. By now my nose was completely pink on the left side and a little swollen. Every time I failed to get it in, I almost started to cry.  And bleed. The hole was there, I just wasn’t getting it. I could feel my ring scooping the inside/middle of my nose as I tried to get it out the other side. And after several hours of scraping, I was kinda sore.

I tried one last time. I put my thumb in my nose to flatten out the hole while putting the screw in and turning it. Finally I felt a lil pokey pokey!! I tried not to get too excited, lest I lose my hole. Slowly I  got everything in place.  It was 4 pm.

Next time, the doc can deal w. the nose ring. This bitch is staying put.

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~ by pithycomments on March 20, 2009.

2 Responses to “Grind it til you find it”

  1. You too, with the BSG??? I gotta get one this bandwagon…

    Yes, you should. I’m kicking myself for not getting on back when it started. I’ll be on the Caprica series like white on rice.

  2. I have lost count of the number of times i’ve tried to change my nose stud and ended up having to re-pierce my nose with a needle. it’s very frustrating!

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