ice, ice baby

It’s vent about annoying co-workers day!!

Until this current occupation, I have only worked in teeny, tiny offices, thus limiting my involvement with the human race. The “biggest” office had 5 other employees, all in their own office, away from me. Now, I am in the midst of a cube farm, with no insulation from the 150-ish humanoids that occupy our building.

This means that all sounds carry: people conducting training over the phones, speakerphone consultations, the short bus-esque “bye-BYE!!!” from several cubes over, and now, the most recent addition to the supply closet — The Ice Muncher.

Day after day, Ice Muncher goes to our little kitchen and fills a Solo cup full of ice and brings it to his/her cube (right behind mine) and starts chomping away. As soon as Muncher finishes one sloppy mouthful, gums are smacked and rattle of the ice cup is heard as Muncher reloads.

At first I thought it was just me being bitchy. Then FAIL IM’d me, sharing the same murderous feelings about Muncher and his/her love of frozen products.

Yesterday Muncher got an earlier start than usual and kept at it for 2 hours straight. Two hours of this. Halfway thru Muncher’s second mouthful of ice love I get an email from the inhabitant of the cube behind Munchy McAnnoying:

Subject: Just tune it out

We might have to speak to him/her about this ice issue, I hope you have an iPod. LOL

Sad part is I do have an iPod that is usually glued to my ears, but even the dulcet sounds of Korn, Marilyn Manson and Bellydance Superstars can only drown out so much.

I figure my option are: a) destroy the ice machine, b) increase my use of ice and/or possibly dump cups of ice in the sink, c) slowly go deaf from having my iPod on max 8 hours a day, d) let my rage build up until I snap and start pelting Muncher to death w/ frozen foods.

GREAT!!!! Ice Muncher has just strolled in and obviously stopped at the kitchen first as s/he is masticating away behind me. Honestly, it can’t be healthy to consume that much ice every day. If you’re THAT sexually frustrated, buy a goddamn sex toy already!! I hear wooden dildos are very “in” now.

It’s going to be a looooong day.

UPDATE: After 2 solid hours of slurping and chomping, Munchers took a break. A break that ended 18 minutes ago. waaaaaaah!!

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~ by pithycomments on August 26, 2008.

5 Responses to “ice, ice baby”

  1. I feel your pain. I really do. I wont even begin to describe the multiple sounds I had to endure from a (very) previous co-worker. I’m gonna be deaf in another few years because of my ipod blasting continuously to drone out the noises. The daily assaults to my nasal passages on the other hand…

  2. Um no I do NOT want to trade– I will stay with the whistling… yours sounds much worse.

  3. It’s getting worse…tonight she’s got music blasting out of the computer speakers, without any headphones, AND she’s got a new cup of ice. I asked CS2 if we’re on some sort of reality show to see how far we can be pushed… I vote you and Matt switch places which I predict will result in a swift end to the entire episode; not to mention be filmed by someone’s cell phone, ending up on YouTube.

  4. Wooden dildos are in? Do you think environmentalists are for or against that?

  5. Seriously, I have spent the last 1/2 hour googling “ice chomping” when I ran across your post. Hilarious. I, also, am struggling with a VERY voracious & persistent ice chomping co-worker. It’s at the point that I can’t deal, and the very noise of the Styrofoam cup rattling with ice, the up & down of said cup & the Godforsaken ice chomping itself has nearly sent me into fits of rage. I’m at my whit’s end, and obviously my anonymous “Why chomping ice is bad for your teeth” article was entirely too subtle. What to do…What to do…???

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