Tech Support, Pithy Style

When the Motherland visits I am inevitably drawn into conversations with her brother and aunt. My role in said convos is to provide technical support. With the most recent Motherland visit I was thisclose to getting a free trip to Miami so I could reset my uncle’s wireless Interwebs and/or cell phone.

I never got a clear explanation of what was going on other than T-mobile was involved, but somehow my uncle’s logic was that flying me roundtrip from DC to Miami would be cheaper and easier than say, driving to the T-Mobile store around the corner for help. I think he was trying to get his new phone to access the Net, and he thought it has something to do w/ his wireless system at home, but seriously, I couldn’t get more info than T-Mobile. And that it was some dude named Pedro’s idea. (no clue who Pedro is or what his idea was)

My uncle has also been known to call me for technical support when he gets an error message on his computer.

Uncle: “What ees dees leetle box on mi computy mean?”

Pithy: “What box? The monitor?”

Uncle: No, when I turn computy on, dees box comes up and de computy no hace nada

Pithy: What does the box say?

Uncle: Errrrrror. How do i feeex computy? Why computy do dis?

Pithy: What kind of error message? Read what the box says.

Uncle: It says errrrrror, someting someting. Yo no se. How do i feeex computy? Why computy do dis? Can jew feexy?

Pithy: <bangs head against steering wheel> Yes, I was driving when this convo took place. 😉

My “expertise” comes the fact that I successfully operate my computer without crashing it or causing sparks to fly from the keyboard. That’s it. I don’t have any kind of real techy knowledge, only the common sense not to believe that the free Ikea gift card email is legit or to think that clicking on random icons in the My Computer section is a good idea. (let me take this time to thank my mom for signing my Gmail addy up for said free Ikea gift card and the 500 spam emails a week I now get.) I also glance through the manuals (nerdy alert, I know) in case I find some nugget like, “Pressing this key sequence will cause your device to blow shit up. Do not press said sequence unless you really want to blow shit up. Please note that blowing shit up will void your warranty.”

The last time I was in Miami, my mom, dad. uncle and great aunt had all gotten new cells phones. The exact same cell phone. Complete with matching belt clips. Because little Colombian women like my mother and aunt masquerade as construction workers and therefore need to clip their cell phone to the elastic waistband in their pants while grocery shopping.

Withing 5 minutes, I was being handed belt-clipped LG’s left and right with the request to make their cell phones like mine w/ ring tones, wallpapers and banners. After I was finished, they were all oooh-ing and aaah-ing over the phones.

Uncle: How deed jew makey de phone do that??”

Pithy: Um, I read your manual.

Uncle: Who’s Manuel? Ees he a coosin?

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~ by pithycomments on August 7, 2008.

4 Responses to “Tech Support, Pithy Style”

  1. I can still hear you do that impersonation… LOL.

    “Yes, I was driving when this convo took place. ;-)” – heh… I give.

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