The Pithy Channel — better than cable

I’ve often told my friends they had no need for cable TV with me around. I am apt to do something stupid (like yesterday when I deleted half of my Gmail contact list) or have something ridiculous will happen to me. And then there’s my delightful story-telling skillz. I don’t consider myself a drama queen, just a simple lil’ goddess that has a talent for getting into sticky situations. All fodder for the tell all, I say.

The newest episode on the Pithy Channel happened yesterday. Other than wiping out my Gmail contacts, nothing spectacular happened, until 12.53 p.m. when Mono sent me a quick email. Subject of said email was to inform me that Mono and his girlfriend were coming to DC this weekend, wanting to know if I lived near a certain part of DC, and oh, hey, maybe we could crash at your place?

Now, while Mono and I have resumed some sort of friendship, I don’t think we’re quite at the weekend sleepover stage yet, and I sorta hope we never get there. I like the virtual friendship much better. I’ve only met his gf once, and while she’s nice (though a little annoying) , I’d rather not have them crashing in my lil’ studio apt. Tis a wee bit too intimate for my liking.

But the main reason this email made me twitch has to do with a little tidbit of info Mono shared with me a few weeks ago. Unhappy with the gf’s refusal of adding a third party to repertoire, Mono took matters into his own hands and is currently having an affair with a married woman. Classy, with a capital C. And um, seriously? I know you do drugs and have fried that lone brain cell you did once possess, but seriously??? Hi, Awkward, party of 3.

So, faced with the delightful opportunity that he presented, I smoked a ciggie from Flippy’s Emergency!Ciggie Stash, exchanged some snarky messages w/ Princess and Sex Therapist, and politely responded that I would be busy (ooops, totally forgot about that “work event” re: Happy Hour I planned 2 nanoseconds after reading the email, and durn it all, there’s a belly dance event that I *must* help with), offered up that I could do coffee, and oh hey, chillin’ with your gf is going to be awkward since I know you’re banging the married chicky. Hey, the boy once said he loved how honest I was…love on that some.

His response was a simple “ok, fine”, which I know he delivered in the passive aggressive manner only one other of my peeps have mastered.

Later that night he IM’d me to tell me that I’m a prude. I told him he could think whatever he wanted, I wasn’t going to put myself in an uncomfy situation. I’m all about peace and love, bitches.

He apologized for the prude comment, said he understood and poof, was gone. Oh, goody, does mean we’re still BFF’s??

Stay tuned for the next episode where I give them the wrong directions to the coffee shop, while I hide out at Flippy’s house smoking her hookah ::coughhinthintcough::


~ by pithycomments on July 10, 2008.

6 Responses to “The Pithy Channel — better than cable”

  1. Why is it that when I try to play Ms. Passiva Aggressiva, I can’t think of anything?

    Anywho, well-played, Pithster. Extra Emergemcy!Ciggies in your stocking this year.

  2. I heart Emergemcy!Ciggies.

  3. i think i’ve gotten to be more honest these days as opposed to the passive aggressive days of the past. the shock factor is so much mre rewarding 🙂

    Go you for keepin’ out of uncomfy situations. tell him cosi in dupont. the south one. when he chides you for being a no show say “oh you nimrod i meant the other cosi. the north one. jerkoff” ha! 🙂

  4. ha ha ha. ohhh the class of exes past. nothin better. huh. ironic that his name is mono. perhaps should be trio? 😉 An ex of mine liked to frequently mention – WHILE WE WERE STILL DATING– how this one time, (at band camp, no seriously) while he was a RESIDENT ADVISOR, his then-wife and, woops, a FRESHMAN who was their BABYSITTER “tricked him ” (ha ha aha ha ha, what was WRONG with me) into accidentally trying the trio, a couple of times, by accident. guess he fell in?

    couple months after dropping these fond memories, he mentions how she’s gonna babysit again while we’re away. couple months after that it’s boo hooo hooo. now she’s moving out of town. so sad since she’s such a “special friend” to him. awww. too bad, so sad.

    good for you on having other plans. let us know if uyou ever want us to make ya some!

  5. @ wash: Doncha just hate it when you trip and fall like that??
    I’m trying to remember what was so great about his guy that I fell for him all those years ago…I refer to that time as my Stupid Phase.

    @ heidi: good idea w/ the cosi’s. haven’t heard anything else, so maybe I won’t be having to take a friend to the hospital this weekend. 😉

  6. like I said he’s an ass…maybe we could direct him to the flippy-hurricane while its in town…

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