You look like old bread

Last night several co-workers and I went out for “dinner” and drinks at Chi Cha Lounge. I may have had a slight influence in the choice of locales for the evening, but really the hookah was the main selling point.

While dinner was the main idea of the evening, we never really made it past the appetizers. The yucca fries were ordered along with 3 or some other yummys, but that was it food-wise. Libation-wise was a different story, with our waitress congratulating us on our ability to “put it away” as the lights turned on signaling last call. RIP Blue Moon keg.

I, of course, was reuniting with my love — the passionfruit mojito. After two glasses of sangria I switched to my baby and am now convinced that there is no alcohol in those things. I lost count around 5 mojitos (and hookah #2 of 3) and only skipped out on one round of drinks, but of the 7 of us, I was the only sober one after 5 hours worth of drinky drink. Either they did a little switchy switchy or my mojito tolerance is higher than I thought.

At some point during the evening I accompanied/bummed a ciggie from a co-worker and as we chilled on U St. smoking, Mike the Panhandler approached us. I know his name is Mike because he introduced himself and informed us we was a former Marine before asking for change (we honestly had none) and then letting us know that restaurants take credit cards. Thanks Mike, we had nooooooo idea.

After my co-worker sidestepped the credit card issue, Mike the Panhandler then proceeded to compliment her on her tan. He then he looked at me and slurred: “You…you look like old bread.”

ummm…WTF?!?!?! Old bread???? I’m white and moldy? Dried out?? Crusty?? Useful in meatloaf??? Compatible with lunch meat????

And exactly what kind of bread are we talking here? Plain Merita white bread? Potato bread? Whole grain? Whole wheat? Low carb? Smelt?

My response was to blink several times, trying to figure out if I had heard correctly, with the “omgwtfbbq!Look on my face. Fortunately, my nicely tanned and non-old bread looking co-worked ended Mike’s panhandling dreams and we went back in for another round. No one at our tables had any clue what he meant. Apparently we need to brush up on our Drunkbonics.

Urban Dictionary was no help, though they had several entries for bread, none of which were overly flattering. And considering the tone Mike delivered his insightful comment with, I don’t think it was a compliment. I’d like to point out that I was wearing a cute Metropark top and was not that unfortunate looking as the hair was in place and make-up still on.

Now I’m sure that sobriety and Mike haven’t been friends in a while, and not to take this comment seriously, but of all things to be called, why old bread?? Is there some slang terminology I’m missing out on here?

Help a crouton out.


~ by pithycomments on July 2, 2008.

4 Responses to “You look like old bread”

  1. your use of omgwtfbbq amuses me to no end 🙂 love it.

  2. You’re old bread. You’re old money. Much better than being new money.

    By the way, when you do the hookah thing, does everybody share the same mouthpiece or what?

  3. You can share the mouthpiece if you are totally tight w/ your peeps, but they do give you “prophylactics” (removable plastic tips) to practice safe hookah.

    I like the sound of “old money.” Def sounds better than “stale” which was one friend’s idea of what it meant.

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