Decisions, decisions

Tonight, one of my best friends from college arrives for the holiday weekend. I haven’t seen Sex Therapist in 2 years, with New Year’s 2006 being the last time we were together. Over the past two years our friendship has been on a painful journey thanks to our mutual friend, She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named. She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named was like a sister to us both, but she’s made decisions in the past 3 years that made it impossible to be a part of each other’s lives. Decisions that make me wonder when I will get a call telling me that I have to go to a morgue and identify a body.

This weekend won’t be about She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named completely, but she will creep up into our conversations, much like she fades in and out of our lives. I would like for the three of us to sit down for some coffee and talk, more for my and Sex Therapist’s benefit than She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named’s. When/if that phone call comes, I want both of us to be at peace, armed with the knowledge that we did everything we could, said all that could be said, and that She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named’s decisions are hers and hers alone. We deserve the right to say goodbye.

Whether or not She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named sees it like that doesn’t really matter to me anymore. This time, we are the ones who get to be selfish.

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~ by pithycomments on December 28, 2007.

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